Amy Schumer

I don't suppose you would at all be interested in a guy my age. I'm 57 but people tell me I don't look a day over 56 1/2!
Also, I suffer from a nasty, three-pack-a-day habit. I'm talking about Odor Eaters!

We Love 'ya, Amy...keep up the good work...especially as the Boner Doctor

Amy Schumer is gorgeous and beautiful, I don't understand these idiotic critics that comment on her size. Amy is a role model to women everywhere. Keep up the good work Amy, we love you. Happy belated Birthday Amy. Gemini's rock!!!!!

Dear mrs. Schumer, I just watched your HBO special which was fantastic!! I thought of a few sexual innuendos for woman!! 1. "Double stuffed pig in a blanket!! Tie a man down with the sheets, then two woman put on strap ons and fuck him in the the mouth and ass! 2. The hog tied muzzle!! Hang a man from the ceiling by his bound hands and bound feet!! Strattle his face and hold his head by his hair and force his face as hard against your vag as possible!!3. The squealing demon!! Put a man on his back! With his head over the edge of the bed! Feet in the air put on a strap on fuck him in the ass til he cries!! Then move to the face and make him suck the dildo!! I made these up from own dirty mind! Given a enough time I'm sure I could do better!! Thanks for being you! Keep doing what u you do!!! Sincerely, dawn Lombard jr.

Instead of preaching about taking away my god given RIGHT to own firearms and protect myself, you should preach to women about the importance of them being responsible for their own security. There are many stories of women using their firearms to protect themselves from rapists, robbers, and other disgusting human beings. Typical liberal... blame the gun but not the person behind it. Gun violence is high in cities because of the illegal narcotics trade. And most of these gang bangers aren't allowed to own weapons. So stop preaching about how evil the second amendment is.

Hey bitch you don't like Trump then please take your fat ugly ass out of this country as you promised. Your not funny, your not pretty, leave no one will miss you! And take all your liberal friends with you fat ass.

When are you moving out of the country? Please take Whoopi with you. Seriously LEAVE

yea whats up with the losers that think a gal of Amy's stature is considered plus sized? I never had dope that good back in my day..Amy looks terrific and she rocks !

We are all waiting Amy. Please keep your word. Canada, Mexico, France....anywhere but here, please leave...quietly, noisily....just leave. Can't wait.

When is Amy leaving the United States? I will be happy to pay for her plane ticket. It will be a great day for America when all the celebrities like Amy, who promised to leave United States if Trump won, actually stayed true to their word.

says she has a illness and also says she didn't know new zealand was on her tour agenda. Really!!!!. or maybe she doesn't know where new zealand is. How about this don't put new zealand on your agenda ever again and leave at that since your humor is 'gutter' and cannot deliver any one liners.

I have tried to make contact with you to say thank you for the following.
I'm a disabled veteran. I have PTSD & a wicked back injury...both have caused me great pain. About 4 months before your show hit, I was going to kill myself. Between the PTSD and the back pain I was miserable. Then in one day: my wife told me she wanted a divorce, my autistic son said he didn't love me, my work had suspended me, and my 17 year old daughter had ran away. My world had fallen apart. After the boy fell asleep I went to a bridge near by. I was close to jumping into the Willamette river...resl close, but I had forgotten to leave some money at home. I returned and the wife had come home. She took me to a nearby hospital. To cut some reading time down the hospital had to transport me to the mental facility crosstown. While I waited in the car, on the radio, I heard you. You were the only other person I heard clearly that day. I laughed for the 1st time in months. I was crying before, but when my driver for us going he had to think I had gone over the edge. Laughing histerically...it might have helped me reside there for that week...but you pulled me out of it. A few minutes of you, and I found myself wanting to be better...wanting to live. Thank you Amy...I hope to thank you in person some day.

Hey Amy, I just finished reading your book and I have to say that it was unexpected. I am a fan of yours and my husband and I both laughed our asses off at Snatched!! I just wanted to say I am proud of you for sharing your life with the world and man you have been through some shit!! lol I think you are hilarious and not for a female comic, but just as a comic. I know you have ovaries because I have them too even though after 4 kids mine are pretty worn out!! Anyway, I am glad you can use your platform to address serious issues in our world today and so glad that you have the confidence to laugh all that crazy shit off now!! Keep up the good work and know that I support you as a person and as a woman!

Dear Amy,

It's 12pm here in Texas and I'm a little... okay a lot drunk. But can you please come to Dallas Texas!? I'd totally come and see you. Like you are sooooo great and shii. (That suppose to say shit but idk if I can say that)

Hi Amy!
Of I knew of a way to send you a heart felt email or letter that get to you directly I would! I hope you read this... I absolutely love you! I am almost through your book and I can't tell you enough how much I appreciate how open and honest you are in it. Not only can I relate on an emotional level, but it really makes me think about everything I have been through myself and what type of flawed but honest person I strive to be. That sounded strange, but I hope you get my drift. Lol. Anyway, I hope things are good in your life and that you're finding happiness everywhere you turn. I would die happy (hopefully old and shirtless) if I ever get the chance to meet you.

Byeeee!

Jeanna :)

Oh, and P.S. you can totally move forward after farting during sex. Even have an orgasm after a particular explosive one! Carry on.

You ruined Star Wars for me you cow. Keep lightsabers, and C-3PO's finger out of your mouth, the only thing that can stay in your mouth is your stupid jokes. Close your goddamn mouth, and especially your legs.

I think you are wonderful, Beautiful, Sexy and Funny....I am single.

Hi Amy, I love your comedy and comedic sense ability. Don't listen to the haters, everyone has them in some way or another. #sooototallynotworthit. Stay awesome ; )

I went to this movie for my wife, I didn’t know what it was about but I figured it was what I’d refer to as a “chick flick.” I was extremely pleasantly surprised. What an awesome movie. Amy was awesome and the acting was spot on. I left the movie feeling uplifted. Keep up the great work!

Amy,

I'm sitting here on New Year's Day, watching your HBO Special (I know I'm slow to HBO), and I gotta say...it's brilliant. I think you shouldn't be so hard on yourself, other than the fact that it is just another side of your brilliance in comedy (I have know way to compliment myself, so I like that part). I, like most fellas, think you're hot, but you already know that. Anyway, you ARE the "total package." Thanks for the stand-up it is spot on. "Jordan you are grounded," "Houdini," I mean it was all great. Thanks for the entertainment, seriously, I needed it.

Just want to say I’m enjoying the cooking show but literally because of the quality of the recipes. It’s nice that you created a platform to introduce Chris’ talent. I’m already incorporating them into our family meals and will also make them for gatherings can’t wait. That fennel salad caught my eye and it was frickin delicious when we made it. Thanks for doing a productive thing while we’re all indoors it’s way fun.